Hormones and Homework and Adorable Boys
by Raburinna
Summary: AU When Pudding's friend Kish tells her that his cousin is moving to their school, she's sure they'll become good friends, too. But Taruto Raiden isn't the friendliest guy... and he doesn't much like the girls his cousin hangs out with. Mult. pairings.
1. Enter Taruto

'Hormones and Homework and Adorable Boys';  
written by Rinna.

chapter one;

"Hey... 'Ey!" The short blonde girl glared up at her friend as they walked down the hallway of the school.

No response.

"C'mon..." she groaned. She marched up to stand in front of the taller boy. Walking backwards now, she snapped her fingers rapidly at him. "Yo! Kish! Stop _drooling_. She's walking with her boyfriend, no da... Besides, we're sitting with her at lunch, na no da! Can't you wait five minutes?"

Silence.

"Ki-sshu-chaaan," the girl sang loudly.

_That_ got his attention.

"Pu-din-guuu," he sang back sarcastically. "Whaddya want? Ichi-chan's right over there..."

"Kisshu shouldn't stare at Ichigo-oneechan while she's with Aoyama-oniichan, na no da," Pudding said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, yeah, he's such a pansy," Kish mumbled. His face brightened a bit, though. "Ne, Pudding, my cousin started here today. You'll meet 'im at lunch. Transfer student, 'no da'," he said, imitating his younger friend's phrase.

Pudding stuck her tongue out at Kish. "No da," she copied back. Then, with sudden realization, "Wait, wait, Kisshu-oniichan has a cousin?! This Purin did now _know_ that, na no da!!"

Kish cringed. "Yo, inside voice, P-chan," he said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Pudding _has_ no inside voice, no da!" she screeched. Kish grimaced and clamped a hand over her mouth, pressing her blonde head into his chest to further muffle her growing shrieks. It was rather like a violent hug, actually. (Several people stared.)

"Ne, Kisshu, you'll strangle her! Quit it!!" Ichigo called from across the hall, sounding annoyed. She'd noticed them when Pudding had started shouting. "What got her so excited, nya?"

"Ah, my koneko-chan!" Kish said gleefully. (Aoyama winced.) "I just told her about my- _ew_! Pudding!" The girl had gotten her head free of Kish's grasp, though he still had an arm hooked around her shoulders and across her collarbone. (Ichigo arched an eyebrow.)

"Ichigo! Ichigo-oneechan!" Pudding shrieked. (Ichigo rolled her eyes.)

"_Ew_!" Kish said again. "You _licked_ me! Gross!" (Ichigo giggled.)

"Serves you right, you big old mean dumbhead, no da! Leggoame! Let go of-" (Ichigo sighed.)

"Owowow, no biting!" (Ichigo doubled over with laughter. Aoyama looked worried.)

"Um, excuse me, Fon-san, Raiden-san-" Aoyama started, sounding nervous.

A throat cleared. "Ah. Fon Purin-san and Raiden Kisshu-san."

Kish and Pudding froze and looked up guiltily to see a stern-looking teacher frowning down at them.

"Oh, hi," Pudding said with a silly grin.

* * *

"Damn, I can't believe we got detention for _that_," Kish said. He sounded rather peeved as he dropped himself into a seat at the cafeteria table.

Pudding sat across from him, a slight pout on her face, though there was laughter in her eyes. "We might not have gotten detention, if you hadn't tried to _bribe_ Aikaze-sensei, no da," she said with a little toss of her head.

Ichigo and Aoyama followed, though the quiet boy looked rather uncomfortable; Kisshu was always after Ichigo, and Pudding... well, she just scared him.

"Ichigo-oneechan, Pudding is sooorry for making you late for lunch, na no da," Pudding said dramatically. "So _tragic_, ne? As fate would have it, a strict, orderly teacher shows his face just as our _most beloved_ Kisshu-chan is trying to strangle the sweet, beautiful, talented Purin!" She grinned. "How unfortunate, no da."

"I object," Kish said, cocking an eyebrow and raising a hand.

Ichigo rolled her eyes. "No one asked you. Besides, if you hadn't tried to kill Pudding in the hallway in the first place..."

"Aw, koneko-chan, don't be like that..."

"Hey, hey, Kish!" Pudding interrupted excitedly. "So where is he, huh? Pudding had to meet him, no da! We're going to be _bestest_ friends _ever_, na no da!!"

Kish tilted his head in mild confusion(and Ichigo tried not to acknowledge how adorable the action was). "Who?" He blinked. "Oh, _him_? Yeah... he should be here soon... his orientation should be 'bout over by now. I'll keep an eye out."

Ichigo blinked. "Huh? Who?" she asked.

"Eh? Ne, my younger cousin just transferred to this school. You'll probbly meet him soon."

"E-excuse me, Kisshu-san, but who will we be meeting?" a quiet, sweet-sounding voice asked.

"My _cousin_," Kish said again, though he was pretty much drowned out my a high-pitched squeal.

"Retasu-oneechan! Sit here!" Pudding cried, latching on to the newly-arrived older girl's arm. Retasu smiled and complied.

"I'm sorry I didn't come here earlier, I was in the library... oh, yes, Kisshu-san. I spoke with Pai-kun in the library; he asked me to tell you that today would be a very poor say to have a detention, and that you should definitely stay out of trouble..." Retasu blushed. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so blunt with my words," she said, ducking her head slightly.

Kish waved a hand. "Naw, 'saright. Thanks, Retty," he said. She blushed again.

"Kisshu, be nice to her," Ichigo snapped, frowning.

"Sorry, sorry... but really, thanks, Retasu. Now, what was I doing today? ...Aw, crap. I was supposed to help the runt move in. Pai's gonna be _pissed_."

Retasu's mouth formed a little 'o'. "Don't... don't tell me you've already gotten a detention, Kisshu-san?" she asked, eyes wide with surprise. Pudding and Kish looked at each other and started laughing. Ichigo buried her red face in her hands and mumbled something about how Kisshu just _had_ to be some type of weirdo alien, and Pudding was probably part monkey or something. Masaya gave a little smile.

"Fon-san and Raiden-san made a bit of trouble in the hallway," he explained with a small, polite laugh. Retasu smiled warmly.

"That sounds like them. Does Purin-san have detention as well, then?"

Aoyama opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off.

"It's true, na no da! Purin has dentention, na no da!" Pudding sighed dramatically, but there really was a bit of worry in her voice. "Purin does not know what to do about the kids, na no da..."

Her frantic-sounding speech pattern made it clear that she really wasn't too happy about it at all.

"Aw, Pudding, I'd help, but Aoyama-kun and I were going to-"

"'Saright, Ichigo-oneechan! I'll figure things out, no da."

Retasu, who was playing with Pudding's hair, said, "If you'd like, Purin-san, I could go and care for your siblings until you're able to get home. Is that okay with Purin-san?"

Pudding threw herself out of her seat in an excited leap, nearly landing on the table. "Oh, would Retasu-oneechan really _do_ that?! This Purin is so happy, na no da! This Purin would have just gotten a babysitter, no da, but Shirogane-oniichan has not yet given Purin her paycheck, no da-"

"It's alright, Purin-san. I really don't mind," Retasu said. She smiled kindly, and once Pudding had sat back down, Retasu continued to work a few small braids into the blonde girl's hair. "I'll also pick up Heicha-chan from her kindergarten."

"There will be no need to do so!" cried a gallant-sounding voice. "Fon-san's troubles are mine to cure!"

Everyone at the lunchtable froze- except for Pudding, who dropped her head in her hands and groaned.

"Hello, Yuebin..."

* * *

"-And then once, when Fon-san spit out a piece of gum, I picked it up and took it home with me!"

Everyone stared.

Pudding's mouth was hanging halfway open in an odd sort of grimace. Kish would've been laughing his head off, had he not been so freaked out. Retasu was blushing, Ichigo looked slightly disgusted('Ew, _used_ gum?" she thought), and Aoyama was looking longingly at the table where the rest of the Kendo team was sitting.

"Ah, um, Yuebin... I'm rather thirsty, no da, but Retasu-oneechan has my hair..." Pudding said with a pseudo-sweetness.

"Oh, of course! Anything for Fon-san!" Yuebin said excitedly, and rushed off to find Pudding a drink.

"That was rather... odd," Retasu said after a moment. Her eyes were wide.

"It's all Kish's fault, no da," said Pudding, glaring at the grinning green-haired boy.

"What?" he asked innocently. "I only wanted to know if he was planning on building a shrine to you or something."

"Yeah, big shocker that he already has one," said Ichigo, still looking grossed-out. "Freakish."

"Aw, P-chan should give the guy a chance." Kish grinned at Pudding, who stuck her tongue out at him.

"He's a crazy stalker dude, Kish, no da. He'd prolly end up killing me in an alley or something. And that would be bad, na no da."

Aoyama looked disturbed. "I've, ah, got to go sit with the Kendo Club," he muttered, sounding nervous as he rose to leave.

"Oh, I'll join you in a few minutes, Aoyama-kun!" Ichigo called after him.

"'Bout time he left," Kish mumbled. "Anyway, Pudding, you'd be okay." He held up an arm, pretending to flex his muscles or something else lame and manly. "I'd protect you!"

"Che, like _you'd_ be able to do anything. Yo," came a sarcastic voice. The group at the table looked up to see a (rather short) aurburn-haired boy whose face looked as if it were probably almost always either scowling or smirking.

Kish grinned.

"Hey, Tart."

* * *

A Note from The Rin;

Okay, this took forever to write... and even longer to actually type out. Shaky start, I know. Hopefully, it'll get better as the story goes along. I'm working on the other chapters, but don't expect super-fast updates. Rinna is **lazy**.

The other characters will be introduced within the next chapter or two. Now, since this is an AU fic, the plot won't be the same. Kisshu, Pai, and Taruto aren't aliens. (I miss their ears... sniffle) The girls aren't Mew Mews. Yuebin will make quite a few appearances, though his personality's been drastically altered. (As in, I totally screwed with his character.) I just couldn't resist sticking him in there as a Purin-stalker/comedy relief character. And imagine Taruto being jealous.

No, really. Just picture it. Adorable, huh?

Anyway, this AN is getting way too long. I'll fill you in on any of the basics of the story I haven't covered and answer any questions at the end of the next chapter. Which will be done... moderately soon. Like, in a while. Um.

Yeah.

Rinna recommends the song _Running to Stand Still_ by U2. It's sad. It's pretty. It's sung by Bono. What more do you need?

Oh, yeah. It's about heroin, too. Aw...

Anyway. Ooh, I'm proud of myself! I worked in a little Mew Mew reference up there! Ha. Yay me. Oh, and yeah. Kisshu's surname, Raiden, means thunder and lighting, and since Taru-kun's his cousin, they're going to share a last name. I thought it was fitting. Thunder? And lightning? You know, 'cause of their attacks and personalites and stuff...? Right.

Okay. I'm going now. Seriously. The shrimp ramen... it is calling...

Out. (God, I hope there aren't any typos.)

Dated: 4/17/07, 11:29 PM.


	2. Lunchtime Go Boom

'Hormones and Homework and Adorable Boys';  
written by Rinna.

chapter two;

"Hey, Tart."

"Yeah yeah, hi, Kish. I seen you last month. But where's Pai?" the brunette asked impatiently. "I haven't seen him in _forever_, the jerk."

Kisshu shrugged. "I d'no. Retasu saw 'im. Where'd you say he was, Retty?"

"U-Um, there's a good chance that Pai-kun's still at the library," Retasu said softly.

"Ne, Retasu, don't be shy. 'Sawright. This is my cousin, Raiden Taruto. Oi, Tart, say hi. Midorikawa Retasu," said Kisshu, pointing at Retasu with his thumb.

Taruto gave a little two-fingered wave, though he wasn't fully looking at Retasu.

He was looking at Ichigo.

"Ne, Kish, who's the hag?"

Retasu looked shocked.

Pudding bit her lip, half almost-angry, half extremely amused.

Kisshu scowled at his cousin.

And Ichigo was sporting an angry blush and a furious expression. "E-_Excuse_ me?!" she sputtered. "Why you... a little kid like you has no right to talk, brat!"

Now it was Taruto's turn to look shocked. "A... a kid?" Surprise turned to anger. "H-Hey! You... You can't call me that, you old bat!"

Ichigo let out a small but furious-sounding shriek.

Someone probably would've gotten hurt right about then, if it weren't for a calm, deep male voice that sounded slightly scolding. "Taruto... what have I told you about insulting those whom you've only just met?"

Taruto turned, a hopeful look on his face, to see an older boy with greyish-lavender hair.

"Pai!" he cried excitedly. "How've you been? Where were you? Who's all these people? Kish hasn't told me who they all are," he said. Ichigo arched an eyebrow. Taruto... that little brat spoke sweetly, as if he were nothing more than an innocent child! Kisshu grinned and leaned over to whisper in Ichigo's ear.

"Tart's really attached to Pai," he said softly, trying not to laugh. "He's always tryin' to make 'imself look good in front of 'im." Ichigo rolled her eyes.

"A-Ah, Pai-kun... Kisshu-san _has_ introduced Taruto-san and I..." Retasu mumbled shyly in Kisshu's defense, blushing as she ducked her head. Kisshu grinned again, throwing an arm around Retasu's shoulders playfully.

"Yeah! I introduced him 'n Retty!" He scowled at Taruto. "Tattletale." (Taruto stuck his tongue out.)

"Do not call her that," Pai said with a half growl(he didn't like the nickname 'Retty'). "You will address her politely, Kisshu." Kisshu grimaced and quickly removed his arm. "Midorikawa Retasu-san, as you know," Pai continued gesturing towards her. "And here we've also Fon Purin-san-"

"That's me, na no da!!"

"-and Momomiya Ichigo-san." Ichigo narrowed her eyes at Taruto.

"_Or_," said Kisshu, "they're also called Retty," -Pai growled again- "Pudding, and Koneko-chan. Well, by me. Actually, most people call her Pudding, but Koneko-chan is _mine_."

"You're his _girlfriend_?" Taruto asked Ichigo, grimacing.

"_God_, no," she said, wrinkling her nose. "I'm _Aoyama-kun's_ girlfriend. Who, by the way, I should go join." She sighed happily and got up to leave.

"Bye bye, Ichigo-oneechan, na no da!"

"See you later, Ichigo-san..."

"Until next time, koneko-chan!"

"Ne, Kish, why do you call her koneko-chan? She's not cute or nothin'," Taruto said, once Ichigo was out of earshot.

Kish scowled at him again.

"Kisshu-oniichan thinks Ichigo-oneechan is a total _sex kitten_, na no da!" Pudding said loudly, raising a hand and giggling.

Taruto stared at her(along with a few of the surrounding kids in the cafeteria).

Retasu blinked twice, blushing slightly.

Pai looked disgusted.

Kisshu was grinning proudly. "Well, wouldja look at 'er? Those sparkling, chocolately eyes, that adorable figure, her dark red hair..."

"Yeah, 'm surprised it ain't grey yet," Taruto mumbled.

"Shut up, Midge," Kisshu snapped, shooting Taruto a dark look. Taruto just rolled his eyes and blew a raspberry.

"So," the short boy drawled after a moment(Pudding was still giggling), dropping himself into a seat at the table. "What do you guys _do_?"

Retasu blinked. "...Do?" she asked uncertainly.

Taruto scowled at her. "Duh," he snapped.

"Taruto-kun is rather testy, na no da!" Pudding laughed, raising her eyebrows.

"Shut up, you," he said, as if he were talking to a loud toddler. "I _mean_, what do you guys do for _fun_?"

"Pudding _performs_, na no da!" Pudding cried excitedly. She leapt onto the table, spinning cafeteria plates as a display of her talent.

Taruto blinked. "Is she, uh, always like that?" he whispered to Kisshu.

Kisshu shrugged. "Y'get used to it. The teachers don't even try an' stop her plate act anymore, as long as she doesn't break nothin'."

An inevitable crash, of course. Kisshu cringed. Pai closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. Taruto cocked an eyebrow.

"Ow, that _hurt_ Pudding's face, na no da!"

"P-Purin-san, are you okay...?"

"Waaaaii, it's still falling, no da! Retasu-oneechan, help-"

"Kyaaaa!"

"No, no, catch it, na no da!"

"Senseiii!"

"Wh-What is this?! Fon-san!!"

"Pudding is _sorry_, Sensei! Just help, na no da!"

"You'll have detention for the rest of your life, Fon-san, I swear it!!"

Kisshu sniggered a bit, and Taruto exhaled through his teeth, eyebrows still raised.

"You hang out with some really weird people, Kish," he said, shaking his head.

"Foolish," Pai muttered.

"I have awesome friends," said Kisshu, slightly defensively.

More crashes/threats/screams could be heard. Kisshu flinched.

"...Kinda."

* * *

"Pudding will be sore for a week, no da," the blonde girl whined. "It's all Kish's fault!" 

"Wh-what? No way! You blamed the whole Yuebin thing on me, but you're not pullin' this one, squirt!" He poked the back of her head with a pencil; he sat behind her in history class, which Retasu and Minto(who'd yet to be seen, she wasn't at lunch) and now Taruto also had that period.

"If Kish hadn't made Pudding show off for Taruto-kun, Pudding would be fine, na no da..."

Taruto rolled his eyes. He'd taken a seat next to his cousin, and know they were waiting for the teacher to come in and start class. "What're we doing in this stupid class, anyway?" Taruto said, not caring if he interrupted the two. He was- well, to put it simply, he was nearly a genious when it came to things like history. Photographic memory, he'd been told. Good for retaining information. So they'd moved him up a grade.

"This Pudding does _not _remember," Pudding said with exaggerated misery. "Awful memory, no da..."

"Well," Taruto smirked. ""S not the case over here." Kisshu rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, you got one swelled head, kid," he said. He turned to Pudding. "He thinks he's awesome 'cause they skipped him through fifth grade for remembering some war. They always teach you the same stuff that year, anyway. He's just lucky he's okay in everything else."

Pudding giggled. Taruto scowled.

"Shuddup, Kish. At least I'm _good_ in something."

"_I'm_ getting a _B_ in Literature," Kisshu said grandly. "What've you got? B-, C? Ha!"

"You lie," said Taruto suspiciously. "You never got more than a C yourself." Kisshu jerked a thumb in a smugly grinning Pudding's direction.

"Pudding was skipped up too, no da. They said something... about writing and reading well... don't really remember, but teachers seem to like it!" the blonde said happily.

"Tart can't write for nothin'," Kisshu whispered conspirationally(and loudly). "There was a conference... yes, Shotokeki-obasan was crying..."

"Aw, shuddup!" Taruto whapped Kisshu in the back of the head and Pudding giggled. "You too, kid! I bet you're gettin' bad grades too!"

Pudding giggled again. "Taruto-kun is not very much older than Pudding... besides, Pudding's got a C+ in history, thanks to her Retasu-oneechan, na no da. Retasu-oneechan's the best, no da!"

Retasu blushed. "I-It's nothing, Purin-san, I don't mind..." she said.

"Retasu's really modest and shy, you know. It's kind of adorable, isn't it?" continued Kisshu, still using his gossipy whisper.

"Pai-oniisan would hurt you, Kish, no da," Pudding said lightly. She grinned.

"Which is why he's not here," Kisshu replied, just as cheerful.

Taruto narrowed his eyes as the two continued to talk, Retasu occasionally speaking as well.

'_Pai-oniisan_, huh? Who does that kid think she is?' he thought, slightly angry(jealous). 'Pai wouldn't be bothered with her... I haven't even called him nii-san in forever...' He scoffed audibly at the thought.

Kisshu, Pudding, and Retasu looked at him. "'Samatter, Taruto-kun?"

"Nothing," he mumbled, and looked away.

Not before Pudding caught his eye, however, and in the split-second of a glance, her eyes were so kind and happy that he almost wanted to be her friend- but he remembered her little voice saying, '_Pai-oniisan,_' and gave her a frightening glare. She grinned in response and turned back to Kisshu, flicking his nose when he called her small.

Taruto slumped in his seat. He really hated this Pudding kid.

* * *

A Note from The Rin: 

Yes, I know what you're thinking. '_Rinna, you kept us waiting for **that**?! Dude, you suck! You fail at life! We hate you!'_

D:

...I was sick. Deathly ill! Hospitalized for weeks! In dire need of an organ transplant(or something)!

Not really.

I had a real bad cold(flu?) thing. But it's hard to write when you're coughing up a lung. ;; Forgive me? Please?

So this chapter kind of sucked. I'm sorry. I rushed it. There's even a few typos. Like in the first chapter. Which I might go edit. But still. This chapter. (I promised Sahara-imoutochan I'd have it out by _today_. Don't worry, I'm doing my sentences, too! They'll be out soon as well!) But. But! Next chapter, you'll find out why the hell Zakuro and Minto weren't at lunch, whatever happened to Yuebin, and how much Taruto really hates Pudding. (Ha ha, yeah.) And I won't even lag this time, because I'm not sick!

'Shotokeki-obasan' is Taruto's mom. It means Shortcake. Hurrah. If you haven't read 'As a Brother'(my God, I just plugged myself), I'll just post all the alien's parents names after a while. Yay!

...I've noticed something. I've been listening to sad songs while writing this. Odd, since it's actually kinda humorous... But then again, I've also been listening to my 'Purin no CD, na no da' tracks, and those songs are plenty happy... ((hums Koi wa a la Mode, which I've _finally_ learned to sing)) Ha!

'Kay. Anyway. Mew-Sahara(my imouto-chan) is the most awesome person ever, because she's awesome. Guess what she did for me? Guess! ...Okay, I'll tell you. 'Member my sentence drabbles? You know, the one's I'm _totally_ working on? She wrote ficlets about them! They're so great... way cute, better than what I wrote. Go read them. Not just because they spawned from my ideas, either. They are SO cutely done!

Right.

Dated: 5/01/07, 8:40 PM. Current obsession: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series. You know what? I don't care if you don't like Yu-Gi-Oh. Go watch the Abridged Series. It's so awesome...


End file.
